Apologies for the absence of existence.
It’s late, I’m exhausted, and it’s a funny thing that I have cramps because my life’s going well. Tums help, this is not intense enough for birth control. I’m here, darlings, working here at Penn State again. The job pays well, lasts me the entire summer. I know I ought to do some school, but I can’t dream up the enthusiasm for algebraic algorithms right now. I bet you my parents get a truancy paper in the mail next week. Say, twenty bucks? Forty?
Hah. Hand them over to me by Monday (; it’ll happen. Ah, me. We worked for a few days, but now we have off for the weekend. It’s ‘most Fridaay, and I plan to spend that hunting thrift shops for vintage Louis Vuitton. In the evening we’ll be off in the middle of the mountains, quite possibly seeing more then one crush and trying to make sense of my suitcase. I just packed the whole thing off to the laundry before the cabin thing. The halls we live in are fabulously stocked, but I’m worried that I won’t have everything I need. Hence the shopping beforehand tomorrow. I’ve got cash to blow, in any case. I found about fifteen quarters lying around the apartments we’ve been cleaning, along with some good-quality nail polishes and a decorative ship in a bottle. If I were a photographer, these would make for phenomenal photos, working here. But I don’t have the energy to constantly update the batteries in my old, old camera.
Honestly, I’m not ready for the stomach churning when seeing A or I, the slamming doors in excitement, the crispy bacon and soft bagels we chew on. Retreat is like conference, but tougher. It’s a move from spot to spot, a careful job to keep strong attention among fifty possibilities, it’s meeting old strangers who are very familiar. I have to dream it up, the ways to go beyond survival. To not just live in the moment, but to plan the moment. Imagine every possible scenario, (as well as some impossible ones), and prepare myself for inspection. For impression. It’s a memorial to me, us, teens, young and bold, finally living up to our full potential. Here to learn, to encounter, to judge, and to begin.
The weather doesn’t help. It’s projected to rain the whole weekend, which is absolutely fantastic, because I packed flip flops and sunny dresses.
I’m so sorry to be negative! :p I really am having a good time, I’m just too exhausted to write much.
Thanks so much for supporting me through the hard times!
-Lonely but A.l.w.a.y.s Fabulous