‘Sitting in the Corner

‘Ello Darlings;

“Hipster: Because it takes a lot of effort to look like you don’t care.”

So Here I am, sitting back at home in my sunny, yellow hall. Finally, I get a minute to breathe! Not that I needed one, I was taking plenty of breaths this weekend, but it passed in a forever and a flurry at the same time. I had an absolutely phenomenal time. In homage to my dearest friend’s wishes for me, I’d say, many of my hopes were established.

That said, I’ve decided on a theme for this summer. I feel like it’s the perfect medium between my usual preppy and the impossible-to-reach boho theme I’m going for. I’m going to be hip! Fa la la (: . Give me a cute oversized tee with rolled up sleeves, fantastic but basic black pants, my studded sneakers, and some boring beanie. Or, better yet, I’ll take those phenomenal ripped up shorts, grab an oversized plaid sweater and a pair of nerdy glasses. There ya go, babe. You always had it coming for you, full circle. Yus, darlings, that’s me. Switching from Hipster to Romantic to Preppy to Overdressed, and now back to Hipster.

“You’ve come a long way, baby.” *laughs* (Anybody recognize this line? I love Spoken Word.)

So my weekend, as I was saying, was fabulous. I played sports I didn’t even know I was good at! I flew a kite, played frisbee, got compliments during soccer, some kartoshka (volleyball, but the Russian version), and even played catch with a football! I’m decent at spinning those balls, as you can see. Let me talk about it in further detail.

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So I was in State College the bulk of this past week. Through Wednesday, I was working cleaning apartments with my sister. Then, come Thursday, my aunt felt ill. The chemicals are really bad for your health, and especially so with the amounts we ended up inhaling. Therefore, we took the day off. I spent the morning finally getting some real sleep and doing a minimal amount of homework. In the afternoon, my aunt felt better. Our uncle came up (he lives like, two minutes from my great aunt, where we were staying). He said we were going to the park to play tennis. Feeling absolutely unprepared, I dressed in my bright blue jeans, carefully arranged a beanie, and did my best not to show signs of disinterest. Anyways, we got to the park, and by that time it was drizzling. We’d gotten out of the car, walked about halfway to the courts, and it suddenly started pouring buckets. We quickly slid under a pavilion along with D and V, the two guys we were meeting up with. D is a good friend, younger then me by a year. He’s suddenly shot up taller and become very handsome. V is someone I’ve never know very well, but he’s a chill person, definitely someone I’d like to get to know better.

So, with the sudden change of weather, we decided to do something else. Our uncle drove us back to the house in order to change shoes (both me and my sister had worn something totally unsuited to rainy weather) while the guys went to go pick up T. We met up at Sweet Frog. I’ve never been there before, it’s a fabulous place. I tried, like, three flavors in my medium sized cup, along with gummy worms, and swedish fish. V directed two comments toward me, almost out of the blue. I think he fancies me, because when he said both comments, he looked at me for the reaction. First of all, he mentioned that he’d just noticed he was taller then me by a mere few inches. Secondly, he made a joke about the candy looking like ecra, (fish eggs, a common Russian delicacy). I smiled and laughed back on both accounts. After the fantastic ice cream, we went back to the Dyb’s house. We watched several episodes of the blacklist and went out for Pizza among the busy night life streets of Penn State.

Friday was so exciting, I almost had trouble sleeping! But then I did sleep, because I was actually exhausted, and realized that it was good for me. In the morning, I slept in late again. I got up around 11 and did some pointe because I realized that the floor at the retreat was wooden and that would make some things impossible to do. I then did some schoolwork. D’s mom came over and said that she was going over to get a food order from my mom, that they were meeting up halfway, and since I felt homesick I went with her. It was nice to see her, and I got a small meal at McDonalds out of it. I honestly like junk food asmuch as anything else. I don’t know how some people are so down on it. Maybe their afraid of developing diabetes, but personally I need the extra weight. We got back home, and I realized it was already pretty late. Therefore I packed as quickly as possible, discarding some things that I knew (or thought I knew) I wouldn’t need at the retreat. In this unfortunate bundling, I forgot to bring my soccer shorts and sneakers of any kind. That turned out to be a bad thing later on, but I won’t complain.

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In the afternoon, we left for the Dyb’s house again. We came and I helped D and my uncle make cookies while everyone else prepared to leave. We rolled them in sugar and they turned out being really good, snickerdoodles are the best. After a while, V came, we packed our bags into, somehow stuffed ourselves into their tiny cars, prayed before leaving, and we were off. I convinced A to stop at Walmart in order to purchase some “necessities”. It was actually because I needed makeup xD I didn’t elaborate.

Him and the guys went to Sam’s Club instead to grab a giant pack of Redbull, everyone was downing it all weekend.

After a long and beautiful ride along the side of the mountain, it was gorgeouss, golden fields and the sun shining down on everything…  we turned onto a side road, and after seven minutes of driving hazardously along the side of the deep ravine and irregular road fencing (A owns a stickshift jetta) we reached our destination. We grabbed notebooks and pencils (provided courtesy of the small church) and eventually everyone headed into the conference room where we have our sessions in order to congregate ourselves into something like a schedule. Their youth leader came up and let everyone know what we would be doing that day. First off, we headed into the dining room for supper, since everyone was absolutely starved. The meals, although lacking in variety (which is understandable because of the amount of people the staff was cooking for) was nonetheless delicious.

I was unsure where to sit, but ‘Nessa (a friend I reconnect with every year we come) waved me over. After this, we went up to the cabin where everyone was sleeping (it’s like a big hotel partitioned into dorms) and I changed into more comfortable shoes. Then we came back to the RC (retreat center) and played some get-to-know-you games. The first was simple; we all stood in a big circle. Each person came out of the circle and stated their name and did a move that described themselves which everyone had to copy. It was a lot of fun, one girl got down and did a pushup, and these two guys did a neck lock and ruffled each other’s hair. When it was my turn to step out of line, I boldly proclaimed myself and did a beautiful fifth position. It was hilarious to watch the guys try to shuffle their feet into a submissive turnout. Most of the girls didn’t even try.

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Anyways, I had a blast that evening, and Saturday, and Sunday. ‘Nessa says she caught Alex looking at me more then once during prayer, and I kept catching him looking at me from far across the room, but the biggest move he made toward conversation was a wave and nodded hi in my direction. I honestly don’t know about that boy. I feel like making a move on my own would be odd.

Some other people did, though, find a way to make relationships work. For instance, I had no problem seeing that K (a sweet hipster from syracuse, and now my style inspiration), was totally digging Vl. Last I texted, she said they were a possible thing. Overall, the weekend was a success. I received numerous compliments, including impressive flexibility, intimidating tallness, confidence, beauty, soccer and football playing/throwing skills, and on my apparent sweetness. Several people said I ought to be a model, and those who didn’t know me nicknamed me the ballerina chick. My favorite thing was the confidence and power I felt and expressed. Back home, I’m judged and conflicted, I’m lucky if someone hangs with me. Here, it felt like people felt privileged to get to be around me, were grateful if I chose them for a friend. They listen to my advice and correction carefully, and if they gossip about me behind my back, it’s nothing mean. I liked that feeling. I hope I can find it here, somehow, that confidence I feel when I’m wearing what I want; when I feel beautiful and complimented; when I can pick and choose my friends rather then practically having to beg for their attention.

-Lonely but Fabulous

N.C.A.

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4 thoughts on “‘Sitting in the Corner

  1. Oh hun ❤ *hugs* You really took my advice! I'm so happy to hear that you had fun. You deserved it after working so hard. It sounds like you were legendary at the retreat or at least someone people admired. I looove the ballet move you did to introduce yourself. Very clever!

    • Gosh, legendary? I hope I left that impression (: Kill me for my arrogance but it appears I did? Because afterwards I chatted some of the girls and they were telling me how thrilled they were, that the moment they saw me they wanted to be my friend, or something along those lines… I honestly don’t know what in the world it was about me… but I had a magical time. Your advice brought me through (: ❤ *hugs back* and haha I thought it looked funny and awkward but Deni said it was impressive! So who knows. I can almost do a saddle split now by the way. I was just entirely happy with myself and I felt so blessed.

      • See! Things are looking up for you 🙂 I remember when you were just sad and waiting for life to get more exciting and now it has. You are very blessed. Never doubt yourself.

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