You asked, and I gave in. Gave too much.

‘Ello Darlings!

You know that feeling, when everything’s sad, and your lonely, and your throat hurts from singing, and your feeting from pointing, but your totally satisfied? Ehh, I have that feeling. It’s so fresh outside. Crisp, but not in a frosty way. Crisp like blunt sentences, but warmth attached. They make their point, and they make you joyful. Content, satisfied, peaceful. It’s all a ruse, but you don’t care. You just keep going, keep working to attain it, that wonderful perfection.

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  “In the wintertime, keep your feet warm.

But keep your clothes on, and don’t forget me…

In the summertime, by the poolside.

While the fireflies are all around you…

I’ll miss you when I’m lonely,

I’ll miss the sunshine too.”

-Don’t Forget Me by Macy Gray.

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I promised I’d tell you more, more about last weekend, and more about this one. Here it is, I suppose. The few details I will divulge. But, honestly, there really isn’t much to tell. Nothing that’s not easier felt then typed. Pretty words aren’t pretty if they aren’t real and true. They’ve no depth. My words, although I try to be as honest as possible, always contain an underlayer (I feel) of discontent and fake poshness… not who I am, but more of, who I wish to be.

“And your words have never left me,

‘cuz I love the simple thought of you.”

-New York by Snow Patrol.

Sheesh, I’m getting really poetical. Moving on! So, I’ll talk briefly about both my weekends. After the Friday-night fiasco (a.k.a. AF’s graduation) I got home pretty early and took a few for a cup of black tea. I also rummaged around for a pair of suitable shoes for the next day. On Saturday morning, I got up at 7a.m., grabbed a comfortable (but light) tan sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans by R&R. I then, accompanied by my rather large and joyful siblings, along with grandmeré and mére, headed off to my childhood park. It’s over two hours away, which almost made me regret the decision to go, but seeing many of the people from the retreat (including a certain alex) and my great aunt sort of got me motivated.

We arrived a bit late. I decided to run to the bathroom for a lipgloss adjustment, and then made my appearance. Most of my friends were there, including the D guys and a few of the stricter chicks who attend their church. I got compliments on my outfit. I also ate some absolutely delicious shashlik, and like, ten pounds of watermelon, haha. It was nice to be in a place that feels like home. I recognized everything, from the trees to the picnic tables we sat at to the paths in the back of the woods. After eating plenty (and then some!) we sat down picnic-style on a pair of comfortable checkered blankets to listen to some small words of wisdom from the pastor. After this was over, I took a few of the girls and decided to go on a hike around the lake. In general, I had a wonderful time. It was rather annoying that in the middle of my bliss, most of the guys ran off on a four-hour hike, but otherwise, I had a blast. I talked to the girls, learned and shared some words of wisdom, and remembered myself as a child.

There, that was last weekend. Now for this one. I got up early in the morning, once more, excited for my first day (ever!) at Hershey’s amusement park. Now, normally we go to a small park in Altoona called Delgrosso, but this year I got invited to spend Senior Day with Becca and Sarah. Since several of my other friends were also coming, I decided to try it out. Honestly, roller coasters scare me to death. I get chills just looking at them.

In the end, though, we did the Comet and the wild cub (or bear, or something). It was nuts! But also absolutely fabulous. I love cheap thrills. It was beautiful all day, and with the help of a bit of sunscreen, I didn’t get burned in the least. Mainly, much as I wanted to hang with J, after seeing her whenever she first came in, I lost her. Nonetheless, I met somebody else who was almost as interesting. Maria, about to move to Colorado, is majorly sweet. She’s so polite!

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We met on the car ride over, since I’d asked Becca to drive me, and when we met the girls at Sheetz I noticed they’d brought an unfamiliar face. Naturally, I needed to introduce myself. On the car ride over, we chose to indulge in each other’s interests. We started out with Lord of the Rings, and guess where we ended up? Ballet! Apparently, just like me, she’s a dancer. On top of that, though, we share a crazy amount in common. For instance, we both started only about a year and a half ago. We both got our first pointe shoes in March. Although she goes to a different studio, it was fantastic to meet someone who shares my passions. M and I did splits in the gas station, battéments in line for cupcakes, and showed each other our pointed feet and careful arches on the ferris wheel.

I had a blast. All it takes, really, are the right people, and you can enjoy yourself anywhere, even in a place as intimidating as roller-coaster central.

-Lonely but Fabulous


*P.S. I suppose I ought to change my mantra. Any ideas?


3 thoughts on “You asked, and I gave in. Gave too much.

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