Wish I was..

“I’ll be alright.

My heads under water, 

But I’m breathing fine.”

-All of Me, John Legend

I’m happy. The grass smells good, our gardner’s just mowed. The wind shivers faintly by me. I’m sitting outside tanning, and oh, how glorious! I love it. Better get inside soon, before my skin turns into a boiling hot mess. I don’t mind being a hot mess, but my skin.. not so much. You’d think it was summer with how hot it is outside. If only it’d stay this way until summer actually comes! But it’s to rain next week, and get colder for a while again.

That’s how May is. It’s super hot, then freezing cold. Extreme this, extreme that… the way I am. Deeply in love one minute, raging at the despised the next.

In our neighborhood it’s rare to find a kid who doesn’t drink once in a while. But Soda never touches a drop— he doesn’t need to. He gets drunk on just plain living. And he understands that everybody else does, and he doesn’t mind it.

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I’ve just got back from a lonely place. And it’s mostly made lonely by me, because I’m rather cruel. The truth is I’m never going to go chasing after him anymore. I’ve already done too much of that. It’s too exhausting to run for so long without reward. So I’m done. Truth is, whether I’m being rude or not, I don’t know. And it’s stressful because, if he was friendly to me, then I’d know that he doesn’t mind. Which he is, once in a while. But I don’t know him well enough to know whether he minds or not, that I’m not unless he is first. Yet I do care.

So I encourage myself, because there’s somebody else to look up to now. I’d much rather give attention to somebody who enjoys it. Plus, I’ve a heart in the matter. Trust me, putting your heart in a matter is a hard thing. But it’s got to be done. I rather want it to be so.

But lo! I’m being vague again! Sorry, I’ve got to be. The foggier, the better matching to my personal confusion. I don’t know much. So I won’t say much, till I know all about it, and then I can spill out all the juicy details. Only know that I’m in a hard place, and funny thing is I don’t want to be pulled out of it. And together we are going to the insane asylum, and he’s carrying me there.

So I’m done.

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When Evenings Change One

Dear Darlings,

“Cuz there’s no place, no place like home.”

I suppose it’s about time I relay everything that’s been eating at me since last weekend.

 A* elbows me sharply. I look over to my right. She smiles, raises her eyebrows. Directioning me toward a handsome guy from which a cool smell ensues. I look at her and nod slowly. Ah, yes. The glory of a great-smelling guy. You’d say, rare to discover these days? Well, I’ve found otherwise.

The best thing that happened in the past week or two has been my trip to Central America. It was a weekend full of firsts: first flight on a plane w/out parents. First time 20 hours from home. First time seeing so much Slavic youth in one place. It was a phenomenal experience, and now we are gone, I find myself missing it.

The jet lag was so funny! I looked at my phone, and then looked down again. Time change, you know how it goes. You’ve flown for forever, yet not at all. Timeless sleep, is what I like to call it. As though you can sleep on a plane. I attempted to sleep, but found myself playing cellphone games and listening to music to pass the time. Anyways, we landed alright. I held on to D*’s hand tightly often, but I was pleasantly surprised. Everything was so smooth! It was insane to think that we were really thousands of feet from the ground. Flying above the clouds was my favorite. I wish I were a bird.

Once we got there, a little trouble was taken settling in, but everything worked out. We found the relative we were staying at to be super kind, though a bit odd. Older people oft are. Yet, we were warmly fed and well-slept. What more could a person ask? All the comforts of (her) home were at our disposal.

As we stretched that morning, I had no idea what these days would hold. It turned out they were absolutely exciting, and hectic, and crazy. To be honest, in a way, the entire thing was overwhelming. Imagine there being 3,000 young people, only maybe 120 of whom you know (or have even seen before) running around a huge building in heels, trying to get some socialization in between wall-to-wall sessions. Especially trying to stand out in the crowd! Well, I suppose I did. K* said many eyes were on me. You catch a lot of attention when you’re tall. At least that’s what others say. But I like to credit it to other things. Things like confidence, and joy, and general well-being. True character. Its not necessarily what gets you noticed, but it’s certainly what keeps you from being forgotten. And once you’ve met me, I want to be impossible to forget.

The morning of the first day was alright. We sat with our aunt’s niece, A*. What with sharing the same name, we found each other to be very alike. I adore her. She’s bubbly, and she moves around quickly. Within minutes, she’d lost me and found me again. That’s an insanely good skill at a Congress. She thinks it’s accident, but I know it’s fate. We were meant to be friends.

And then, I found someone. We had moved up a few seats from the front of the building, to accommodate our more tired minds. D* and K* went out for a minute. Somebody filled in the seats behind us. And then, lo, I heard somebody calling my name! I turned around, and this pretty chick was staring at me as though she knew me. I looked closer and, beside her, I recognized C*! Some girls that were at the youth retreat last year, hours away from me, were here! Some old acquaintances of mine. Somebody from our coast, finally!    Oh, how I rejoiced! I asked A* later if I was acting too happy, but she said it was fine. It was just so, so wonderful to see old friends.

One guy I have a crush on was there. The one I often talk about. And heartbreaking part is now, because I’ve found out the worst news. Truly I’ve suspected it for the longest time… but I shan’t share it here, for fear. Or anywhere, ever.

The funny thing is, apparently D* and M* got together verrrry close. And they were talking about me, and him, their exact words were “They should get together already,” and “they should stop dancing around each other.” It’s the cruelest and sweetest way to put it, but there isn’t a way to resolve this. Because both of us are unsure if we are indeed attracted. And we haven’t figured it out yet, and this horrid news just makes things more complicated..  Because there isn’t an us, and whether there should be or not, I don’t think either of us will ever figure out. But we ought to, and soon.

“Go insane, go insane

throw some glitter, make it rain.”

Wish us luck, would you, dears.

We got in a circle. Yes, we skipped church. But 10 to 10 church is not a right thing! There has to be an earlier ending. How are we supposed to find life partners if we are sitting in church? Sometimes, something must be done. Rebellion is good for you, as long as its in small doses. So we talked. It was me, and C* and Y* and Al* and S*. We met M*. And C* noticed he was wearing a Louis Vuitton belt, and that got our conversation started. We talked for a half hour just about clothing. Then it was cars, and photography, and everything in between. I believe that young people should be knowledgeable, and we certainly are. (Btw, if anybody wants to get me a gift… Prada Saffiano Tote in dusty blue or nude. That’s my dream bag).

Anyhows, I know my values are messed up. It was just so nice to stand in a circle and have other people to talk to, and actually listening to you and your opinions. To discuss something your passionate about. Even to just stand there and glance over at somebody talking. And have their piercing gaze meet your eyes. And just ignore it as if it’s just another face, even when it isn’t. Even when maybe you are melting under that stare. But you’d rather die then have them find out. So you turn away again. You don’t even look down, you simply scan and move on, as though bored. You can’t always act attracted. People will think your giving yourself away. Be super careful. A few more minutes and I would have let my guard down… but then we had to go. The day was over, the night had come.

Anyways, I gave hugs all around.. (even the guys! It’s an American thing, I’m only doing it because they did, but I don’t mind one wit, no matter what D* tries to tell you) .. and we had a fabulous weekend. I was thoroughly satisfied. I miss it now. I miss talking to guys about fashion. I miss getting closer.. and closer… and closer… to people 😉 I miss spending money. I miss seeing new people all the time. I miss laughter.

And most of all, I miss me. Because me is not working 24/7. Me is me when I’m like this, socializing. I’m an extrovert. I go out of my way for others. I’m super loyal. I’m supportive. And I feel happiest when there are a million people around me, and 10,000 of them, I’m able to pay attention to.

Good night!

XOXO

NicoleNonChaire

Always a Flight Taking Off

Dear, oh, dear darlings!!!

I haven’t posted in ages and ages! But it’s about time, I’m spilling over with things to share. Thankfully, I was just looking through a stack of old papers (Spring cleaning, anybody) and discovered a clue I had left behind concerning my login information! I haven’t remembered it in ages. Therefore I am now on. Ta da! 😉 Enjoy it while it lasts. I’m so forgetful, it drives me insane.

“Tell me what you waiting for,

Look across the great divide,

Soon they gonna hear the sound, the sound, the sound;

And we come running.”

-Youngbloodhawke

  

The soft rain’s pushing me over

Dear Darlings,

“As the seasons change, I remember how we used to be. Now I can’t go on. I can’t even fight. I’ve got nothing left, just an empty heart.” -Spirit

I don’t mean to be depressing, darlings. But sometimes you’re down, and other times your up. It’s not always crystal clear how you feel. Lately I’ve been feeing strange like that. Probably the bad weather we’ve been having lately has a lot to do with it. I thought it was going to be another in-between fall, like it’s been an in-between summer. Not too hot, not too cool. But it’s been too cold.

Cold enough, in fact, for an early breaking of my beautiful new coat. I’m in love with it, though, so I don’t mind one wit.

Anyhow, the panic escalated quickly, causing me to order out frantically for my turtleneck sweaters. The leaves aren’t staying long, either. I can almost see through the trees. The grass is brown and brittly. Hence my funniness.

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The only thing keeping me above the water, really, has been the wonderful music I’ve recently acquired thanks to my new iphone, new card, and fantastically full bank account. Shopping sprees (mostly for junk food or new clothes) combined with an artful taste of a forty-five minute stretching before bed, or really at any random time throughout the day, have been my remedy. I’ve been hitting everything, from Charlotte Russe to H&M to even the better quality places like Zara and RiverIsland. Anywhere, really. But what’s the point of new clothes if there’s no one to show them off to? Ah, my dilemna. Anyhow, next one my list are Hunter boots (I can’t decide what color?) and perhaps another pair of Uggs. Despite being black and pratical, they’ve worn out fast.

It’s also caused by general loneliness. I can’t be real friends, not with anybody at work. The few times I see people I like is in-between school, jobs, ballet, voice lessons, choir, church, and family time. You see what I’m facing? Ah, to be a kid again. Not even the iphone helps. Virtually seeing people isn’t the same as actually coming up and giving them a hug. I can’t feel their warm hug, or smell their just-showered hair, or sense their careless attitudes.

Other ways I cope… hmmm… oh, weheartit and pinterest. Also burying myself in warm clothing. Just the same things over and over again. And reading LOTR or writing poetry.

Such as this little number, pour instance.

“I tell lies about people.

It causes trouble.

Call them fat.

Fat heart,

big smile,

larger than mine.

Wish I had room to hold

so much joy

but I haven’t. ”

Please tell me if you hate it. It’s a very short part of a very long poem. I’d love to know your opinion, and generally to have help realizing I’m not the only one dropping her back in alignment with the imagined stars at the back of her head. Sometimes you just get so drunk on loneliness that it’s hard to pull yourself out of the hangover, even if you want to.

I love you.

-XOXO

NicoleNonChaire

Chills running underneath my spine..

Darlings,

It’s undeniably strange, huns, being an almost-adult.

You’ve got a card, you’ll soon be driving out past 11o’clock. Gawsh, it’s too much to think about, my future. Too much going on right now. Too many things I want to try out, accomplish, and complete. I used to think that adulthood was far away, and yet now it’s feeling waaay too close. The worst part is that I’m facing it alone. It feels that way, like my parents have finally faced the fact that I’ll soon be on my own. Now that they’ve come to turns with it, their ready to let me go. Slowly but surely, my life is changing. For the worse or for the better, only time can tell.

Head in the clouds, got no weight on my shoulders..

‘Ello Darlings!

(a la title): That gorgeouss trill in Ariana Grande’s song just takes my breath away. Singing it, thanks to my voice lessons, is a breeze. Yet I still say, nobody can do it as well as that dearie.

You know, admirations’ always provided me with drive. If I admire something, Imonna try to achieve it myself, no matter the cost. Sometimes, unfortunately, that cost includes close friends. It includes sacrifice of time and money. Maybe it means giving up a favorite school, or choosing not to talk to someone you like in order to save face or to not seem desperate. Unfortunately, in the end, even if you achieve the admiration you were going for, it’s not enough. You still want more, maybe something else. More power. We’re all greedy, and we regret that greediness, even as we chase it. I guess that’s wierd, and it’s sad. Makes me want to cry, often, thinking about the things I’ve lost along the way. Yet at the same time, I glow golden-like with self-pride. I’m this way; Missing what I had back then, extremely happy with what I have now, yet not content enough to leave well enough along and give up thinking about the future.

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I had a great second/third week of June. It’s been a fantastic summer so far. I was gone at an overnight camp for a little more then a half week. My sis came with me, and she and this one guy she likes met up. It was absolutely adorbs, and the outcome of it is that she basically has a boyfriend. It makes me feel so, so absolutely happy for her! Yet at the same time, it makes me feel pretty darn lonely. Sometimes I just don’t understand what goes on in a guys head when they see a girl. I can’t understand their reasons, and I’m not going to try, but I hate not knowing this sort of thing. I’m not really an expert in anything. And I change my character practically depending on who I’m with. Like around my (basically) best guy friend, I act funky and like a complete doofus. Then around this other guy I know, who likes me, I act all serious and polite and like, chiquesque and things. It’s two sides of me, same person, just separate depending on who I’m comfortable with and how they present themselves to me.

And then there are the third kind, like people who I don’t know where I stand with. Guys I like, or girls I want to be friends with but aren’t yet acquainted with. I don’t know whether to go all nuts, since thats what I normally do with their bestie. I don’t know which side of myself they’ll like best. I guess I end up as a sort of crazy mess. Hey, at least I know I’ve got people who have my back, sorta.

I also know I have enemies. And it hurts when the people who have my back, cajole around with my enemies. And it’s not even my fault they have something against me. But I’m afraid that any comment I say, perchance, when I’m being comfortable around K, will be backlashed by this enemy of mine. That she’ll come out with her long whip of jet-black hair and prepare to set words of steel into my cousin’s heart. And it’s be a real terrible thing, to lose her. It’s few people who have my back, and honestly, I’m the only one who knows much about myself, and it’s so much information. There’s too much information in me, to many passages I could travel down, like a haunted house. I get lost quickly.

Anyhows, it’s late, so I’mma fly.

-Lonely, but Fabulous.

NicoleNonChaire

 

You asked, and I gave in. Gave too much.

‘Ello Darlings!

You know that feeling, when everything’s sad, and your lonely, and your throat hurts from singing, and your feeting from pointing, but your totally satisfied? Ehh, I have that feeling. It’s so fresh outside. Crisp, but not in a frosty way. Crisp like blunt sentences, but warmth attached. They make their point, and they make you joyful. Content, satisfied, peaceful. It’s all a ruse, but you don’t care. You just keep going, keep working to attain it, that wonderful perfection.

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  “In the wintertime, keep your feet warm.

But keep your clothes on, and don’t forget me…

In the summertime, by the poolside.

While the fireflies are all around you…

I’ll miss you when I’m lonely,

I’ll miss the sunshine too.”

-Don’t Forget Me by Macy Gray.

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I promised I’d tell you more, more about last weekend, and more about this one. Here it is, I suppose. The few details I will divulge. But, honestly, there really isn’t much to tell. Nothing that’s not easier felt then typed. Pretty words aren’t pretty if they aren’t real and true. They’ve no depth. My words, although I try to be as honest as possible, always contain an underlayer (I feel) of discontent and fake poshness… not who I am, but more of, who I wish to be.

“And your words have never left me,

‘cuz I love the simple thought of you.”

-New York by Snow Patrol.

Sheesh, I’m getting really poetical. Moving on! So, I’ll talk briefly about both my weekends. After the Friday-night fiasco (a.k.a. AF’s graduation) I got home pretty early and took a few for a cup of black tea. I also rummaged around for a pair of suitable shoes for the next day. On Saturday morning, I got up at 7a.m., grabbed a comfortable (but light) tan sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans by R&R. I then, accompanied by my rather large and joyful siblings, along with grandmeré and mére, headed off to my childhood park. It’s over two hours away, which almost made me regret the decision to go, but seeing many of the people from the retreat (including a certain alex) and my great aunt sort of got me motivated.

We arrived a bit late. I decided to run to the bathroom for a lipgloss adjustment, and then made my appearance. Most of my friends were there, including the D guys and a few of the stricter chicks who attend their church. I got compliments on my outfit. I also ate some absolutely delicious shashlik, and like, ten pounds of watermelon, haha. It was nice to be in a place that feels like home. I recognized everything, from the trees to the picnic tables we sat at to the paths in the back of the woods. After eating plenty (and then some!) we sat down picnic-style on a pair of comfortable checkered blankets to listen to some small words of wisdom from the pastor. After this was over, I took a few of the girls and decided to go on a hike around the lake. In general, I had a wonderful time. It was rather annoying that in the middle of my bliss, most of the guys ran off on a four-hour hike, but otherwise, I had a blast. I talked to the girls, learned and shared some words of wisdom, and remembered myself as a child.

There, that was last weekend. Now for this one. I got up early in the morning, once more, excited for my first day (ever!) at Hershey’s amusement park. Now, normally we go to a small park in Altoona called Delgrosso, but this year I got invited to spend Senior Day with Becca and Sarah. Since several of my other friends were also coming, I decided to try it out. Honestly, roller coasters scare me to death. I get chills just looking at them.

In the end, though, we did the Comet and the wild cub (or bear, or something). It was nuts! But also absolutely fabulous. I love cheap thrills. It was beautiful all day, and with the help of a bit of sunscreen, I didn’t get burned in the least. Mainly, much as I wanted to hang with J, after seeing her whenever she first came in, I lost her. Nonetheless, I met somebody else who was almost as interesting. Maria, about to move to Colorado, is majorly sweet. She’s so polite!

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We met on the car ride over, since I’d asked Becca to drive me, and when we met the girls at Sheetz I noticed they’d brought an unfamiliar face. Naturally, I needed to introduce myself. On the car ride over, we chose to indulge in each other’s interests. We started out with Lord of the Rings, and guess where we ended up? Ballet! Apparently, just like me, she’s a dancer. On top of that, though, we share a crazy amount in common. For instance, we both started only about a year and a half ago. We both got our first pointe shoes in March. Although she goes to a different studio, it was fantastic to meet someone who shares my passions. M and I did splits in the gas station, battéments in line for cupcakes, and showed each other our pointed feet and careful arches on the ferris wheel.

I had a blast. All it takes, really, are the right people, and you can enjoy yourself anywhere, even in a place as intimidating as roller-coaster central.

-Lonely but Fabulous

N.C.A.

*P.S. I suppose I ought to change my mantra. Any ideas?

To Be Inspiring

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I’ve always wanted to inspire others. This blog has been one of the many mediums I’ve used in order to do that. Ballet, photography, clothing, poetry, DIY’ing, makeup… it’s all a part of my search for beauty. It’s wonderful to know that I’ve inspired others, too. Thanks to darling Amanda for nominating me for this award! She does inspire me, too, with her lovely advice and constant ideas.

The guidelines are these:

  1. Thank and link the amazing person who nominated you.
  2. List the rules and display the award.
  3. Share seven facts about yourself.
  4. Nominate 15 other amazing blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
  5. Optional: Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.

Seven (rather personal) Facts About Myself:

1. I don’t have enough time, nor space, to write everything that I wish I could. I can’t imagine people reading the whole entry I write as it is. A huge thanks to those who do, actually, read everything, and especially to those who comment.

2. I tend to respond differently to different social situations. As a result, I often charm the people I don’t particularly want to admire me, and cause those whom I wish would adore me to groan. That kind of response just confuses me. Although it makes sense that, because of my nervousness, I laugh way too often and way too loudly, therefore causing these groans in these types of situations… oh my gosh…
3. Writing here really helps me to sort through my emotions, and although I don’t always print what I wrote in my draft (mainly because my common sense tends to take over halfway through, thankfully) it’s really a way to let loose and vent.
4. I find myself constantly getting myself injured in the throes of enthusiasm. For instance, in an attempt to multitask, it often happens that I end up doing things that include (but are not limited to): Burning myself, snipping a palm, pricking a finger, turning and therefore spraining my ankle, straining my heel terribly after being en pointe, receiving muscle fatigue, bruising three toenails (leaving them purple)… you get the idea.
5. I always feel the pressure to perform, to outdo. If I had one way to describe my style, it would be glamorous. I like to impress, to make a good (and lasting) first impression.
Only two more to go! Hmmm…
6. I often give out great advice, according to (several) friends I’m very wise, but I often forget to take my own advice, or choose to act passively, rather then listen to my conscience… this resulted in my troublesome reputation.

7.  I’m often jealous of others (think my ex-boyfriend, for practically being a professional dancer, and my bestie, for being so absolutely gorgeous). Yet I’m also easily empathetic. I realize the hard work that gets put into being fabulous. Everyone has issues, family issues, self confidence, hoots and stares, etc. Somehow, though, I end up ignoring all the bad signs people are giving me and give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t understand, sometimes, how other people can be so cruel. They don’t see the problems these people are facing. This creates a conflicting sort of trust..

Now it’s time to nominate 15 blogs that inspire me! Let me see here…

There are my ten bloggers! Aall of you for making my wordpress reader so sweet with your lovely posts, all of you inspire me to be better, give me fantastic advice, and to the very core of my being, I thank you.

-Lonely but Fabulous

N.C.A.

I need you like a heart needs a beat.

‘Ello Darlings,

You know, a lot can happen in a weekend! Mine, (probably) unlike yours consists of Sunday, and Monday. Friday and Saturday evenings are, obviously, free, but they aren’t officially part of that. Anyways, I’ve got to tell you all about everything before I forget it, since I haven’t the energy nor the inclination to fill up precious journal pages with this. Typing is just that much more efficient when it comes to space, and speed, and etc.

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But I haven’t come here to rant about my typing skills (avg. wpm being 85, not that you want to know). I’ve much more important things to rant about. Therefore, as the whisperer would have it, “Let us begin.”

I’m holding on a rope, got me ten feet off the ground.

I’m hearing watcha say, but I just can’t make a sound.

-Apologize by One Republic.

As I’m sure you all realize, people often say things they don’t mean. Other times, they are simply so overly nervous, skittish, and generally over complimented that they can’t get a word out of their mouths. That, to be honest, was me last Friday night. You see, we were invited to a small co-ops graduation by, like, three different families. Naturally, we chose to go, especially since, as on the back of the one invite, “there will be cake.” My brothers thought that line especially catching. Personally, the reason I was slightly (kay, majorly) excited for this particular event is because AF is graduating. AF and I have shared a certain… affection… for each other since we first met when I was nine (or so). This began as hand-holding and is now… to be honest… I don’t know how to define our relationship.

What I do know is that his mom (no matter how sweet, yet very intimidating she may be) really likes me. That’s always a good sign, right? And whenever he saw my face in the crowd (standing up there in his suit and bow tie, a little to the right next to his parents and the other graduates), I just about went red, or pink, or orange, or all three. But my eyes were shining, and my smile was wide. It’s weird, to see people growing up, and knowing you will be up there too, next year. Not in the same spot, of course, but in the same position. It’s also strange to see people looking to me for affirmation, in a way. He searched my face, but in a happy way. I missed that, haven’t seen him for almost a year. He was valedictorian of the class and said a fantastic speech that had everyone laughing.

Afterwards, we went downstairs for our cake. Although it was nearly impossible to get over to him (he was being mobbed by his many fans), I spoke with his brother for a while. This kid is hilarious, and very good looking, similair to his older brother in one way, but quite different. I like the both of them, fine young men. But the second AF had a free moment, he came over to our little group, and almost immediately struck up a conversation with me.

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(From now on ommitted names in the following) Allie scootched back, Hannah looked at me and then him in feigned surprise, and Deni stood there and smiled. AF’s brother waggled his eyebrows. And what does AF do? He complimented me. Said, “You look really nice today.” I just stood there and guffawed, attempting to hide my smile and also to cough out a , you too. By then, our group had dispersed, and AF and I walked over to the water stand. He poured me some first. Gosh, what a gentleman.

So I don’t know what to think, other then, I’m flattered by his attention. It was hilarious, his cousin Diana was talking to us, and I met a few of his friends whom had come, (some of whom I had known before, others not). Before we left, she mentionted that the F guys talk about me (me? oh joy) a lot. I wonder why…. xD Anyhow, my sister Deni is convinced he is still into me. I suppose that could be. To bet honest, I feel like I don’t deserve his attention. He is so accomplished, more proficient in two instruments then I am in one. He’s graduated as top of his class, and was so busy hand-shaking all night, he barely had a free moment. I was proud, yet reminiscent, at the same time.

At the end of the night, a guy came in and asked to talk to the director. After a short whispering session, the man made an announcement. Brother stood there, waggling his eyebrows and attempting to point backwards without attracting AF’s attention. After the man was done, I looked over at AF, who was truly shocked. I’ve never felt more happy for someone, ever. He’s gotten a full, 4-year scholarship. Life is good.

Now, I will write about Saturday, but in a different post, since this one is already getting on some bit of length, and I have so much to tell.

-Lonely but Fabulous

Nicole NonChaire